Malicious truths

I walk free you say
yet every day I see my sisters fall
see your hands around their necks
the shadows of fingers left behind
and you deny my vision
you deny us thrice
a thousand times
yet when the cock crows you are not ashamed

The Reality

Birthdays always remind me
of all the times that I hew a huge discrepancy between
imagination and reality
events that are supposed to change you
rarely do

alright I have to clarify that this is talking about birthdays, graduations, events that are socially implied and represent a transformation that in fact takes place over a great deal of time but is expected to be condensed into a specific celebratory day. Some events do change a person, typically these are traumatic, and while that is also important it is not actually what I am talking about at the moment.
but i digress, to an extent

and what is expected
was in fact already achieved in the expectations and the decisions
on a birthday
one does not feel different than the day before, for every day age increases equally, but instead they feel older and far different than the year before or five, ten years ago, I do not feel older from two days ago but I do feel older than a year or even a few months ago.
metamorphosis is a process

Journal

I used to write in my journal all the time
it is full of secrets
but now
all but the darkest are lit
it is funny
it is lovely
such a comprehensive support system
it is somthing that
I never anticipated having
and I love you for it

Velociraptor Awareness Day

today i would like to bring your attention to a grave problem facing our country
velociraptors
every year people in our country, around the world, live in fear of velociraptor attack
more information, as well as helpful tips, pictures, and vides about raising awareness and protecting yourself from velociraptor attackcan be found here:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=138094716222781&index=1
stay safe!

The problem with vampires

today I was thinking about kidneys
yup, bio
and then about vampires
be very afraid of that train of thought
the problem with vampires is digestion
I mean, how do they digest blood?
this is not even really a hypothetical question
because of vampire bats
but I tried to think of
the best way
to digest blood
like, would a giant kidney work in the place of a gastrointestinal tract?
just filtering out the forign blood and integrating it into their syestem
this seems unlikley
do they just digest it like we digest food?
fortunateley
I know the answer
tank you, vampire bats

yes you

It turns out that it is very difficult to make a living
drinking blood
vampire bats can drink about half of their body mass in blood
they then almost immediately urinate most of the blood plasma
but still have trouble taking off with the sheer extra mass of blood cells

this system would possibly prove a tad embarrassing for most fabled vampires
problems added because vampire bats have to feed basically every night to keep from starving

ok then, it is unlikely that vampires, being human-sized and not? flying all that much, would have the same problems
but still one has to wonder how they are metabolizing this blood, full of foreign antibodies and DNA

know what? vampires do not make any sense
they suck >.>
but really, it is a terrible idea
do they breathe? apparently "Edward" does not, but does not feed nearly often enough to maintain blood oxygen levels
where do they get off?

insecurity

insecurities are emotionally restrictive
they can make a person seem neurotic or just
completeley nuts
but everyone
has at least one insecurity
the difference
is whether yours has been exploited recently

It's like a metaphor

You hear it all the time
metaphors
the seasons, an apple, a swing
metaphors for life
I have a postulation
everything
is a metaphor for life
and I plan to prove it
or at least support it with evidence
and you are going to help!
think you have an exception?
comment it
and I will post with a way that it is a metaphor for life
or admit defeat!

Fear, Shame, and Guilt

Generally we find
Fear, Shame, and Guilt
at the gym
in the cafeteria
in front of the mirror
the exploitation
of insecurity
for profit
for diets and clothing and makeup and surgery
I am not above it
I have not been above it, to say
I still have
fear, shame, and guilt
it is very similar
the reason
and I feel it today

Today in class I felt unwell
it seemed that my digestive system was not
accepting
of my lunch
dammed Mango Tango
anyways
we were discussing body image
and we were asked
"who is fully content with their body, does not want to change anything"
raise your hand
and I missed the moment
and now I feel
fear, shame, and guilt
because my fear
is that one day I will not love my body
and my shame
is that I said that I did not
and my guilt
is not raising my hand

Fantastic!

Matthew Gray Gubler/Dr Reid IN MY LIBRARY :)

another insane doctor who fan exists somewhere on campus, and I love them

This is the sort of thing that makes me instantly happy and pretty excited
that is because, for much of my life
I have lived in fantasy worlds
there have been a number of them, originating in the minds of various authors and later television writers
translated and transformed into a safer place for my mind to travel to
when things got complicated
or friends left
I'm not saying that I told everyone my name was Rose or ran into wardrobes hoping there was somewhere else hidden behind the coats
just that sometimes, reality looks like the less viable option
the inferior world
of course, critically this is absurd because of the incredible amount of destruction found in shows(in Dr. Who and Torchwood, remarkably all in Britain ^^)
I'm just saying
that this flyer made me happy
a sense of community with someone I don't know at all
an instant and transcendent connection
frivolous, but enough 

Humans and People

people aren't people when you pass them on the street
they are measured
by your perceptions
are they social constriction?
are they your audience?
are they in the way?
are they making you uncomfortable?
are they a reflection
of what you are feeling?
of loneliness or pain?
do they remind you of something, or someone else?
because most people
are not people
to you

when they are lost
a human loss
casualties
the numbers grow larger
and if you try to imagine
but you can't
not then, of all times
that every human
is a person

you are a person
I am a person
but if I see you on the street, you may not be
to me
and I
to you

everyone is a person
humanity
an entity
and every person an entity as well, as complex
each one as the last
recognizable only to some
a terrible few

I can not even
now
ask that you consider
every human
a person
those you see, those you hear
hear of
I have tried it
there is a point where it is no longer real
where a person is not a person
yet again
and humanity returns to a more mediocre
backround
white noise
rainbow noise

The Healthy Life

I live on the 3rd floor
and I hate when people on my floor take the elevator
none of them are disabled, rarely are they carrying things
it is just laziness
and the most ironic, terrible part
is that they probably "work out"
going to the gym multiple times a week
on the stairmaster, the treadmil
and then, in regular life
taking the elevator
and the bus
such is our generation, relying on technology for
absolutely everything
trying to be "healthy" and active
but living everyday life in a lazy way
pushing the status quo to the rediculous
and making me sick