ancient

ancient wisdom, tales of old
the facination with antiquity, with what has endured
the question is our perspective
we do not judge them on the terms of the present
for the ancient is above the everyday
it has endured, it lives on
the ancient is what we seek
beyond life, to be ancient
to be remembered

The Reality

Birthdays always remind me
of all the times that I hew a huge discrepancy between
imagination and reality
events that are supposed to change you
rarely do

alright I have to clarify that this is talking about birthdays, graduations, events that are socially implied and represent a transformation that in fact takes place over a great deal of time but is expected to be condensed into a specific celebratory day. Some events do change a person, typically these are traumatic, and while that is also important it is not actually what I am talking about at the moment.
but i digress, to an extent

and what is expected
was in fact already achieved in the expectations and the decisions
on a birthday
one does not feel different than the day before, for every day age increases equally, but instead they feel older and far different than the year before or five, ten years ago, I do not feel older from two days ago but I do feel older than a year or even a few months ago.
metamorphosis is a process

What If

for every decision
there is a what if
the opposite conclusion
lingering long after
and the question is
whether the universe of what if
festering in your mind
exists only there

Looking Forward

To tonight, the weekend
To finding out about that camp job
To the next warm sunny day
To important packages in the mail
To Birthdays
To Visits from friends
To adventures
To opportunities of a lifetime
To summer break
To fun at camp
To a lot of reading
To the return of that show, and the other one too
To seeing you again outside of school
To that class, that looks really neat
To the other one that sounds interesting
To the next break, and the next
To success
To acceptances
and maybe the rejections too
To more learning
To practice and training
To celebrations
To working long hours
To making a difference
To doing what I love
To happily ever after
To the sunset
and everything in between
the days and the seconds
the time this takes
the next post too
but mostly today

What is Busy

I have a lot to do
but a lot of times, I don't feel busy
i guess I associate busy with motion
and a lot of what I halve to do involves sitting on my computer
or at my desk
generally not leaving my room
except for class
Of course
I do leave, and quite often
things that are not necessary, but are needed
for sanity
but still, there is the stress
from what I need to be accomplishing
for a frame of refrence
here are my tabs:

yes they do take two pictures...but there are repeats

and yes, with the ironic "time management" XKCD comic, what can I say

oh and windows

I have said my life is a clusterfuck of internet activity
and do not be misled
I am not complaining
I want to get an Iphone just to bring it all with me
everywhere I go
and I know
that the complexity of my obligatieons
is something I chose
I don't need to be taking 20 credits or volunteering in Ghana
so no complaining
because my life is awesome
and a little bit busy
but that is the way I like it