The Little Things

I used to live in a place
where the little things meant a lot
peace enclosed in a bubble, surrounded by chaos
the thinnest of membranes
rent open often, and each time growing back weaker
thinner
smaller and smaller events tearing it
the insignificant things
the needle so close to the translucent skin
it's the little things
when you live in a place
where the little things mean a lot
you never leave it

confrontation is hard
when the little things mean a lot
arguments leave bigger scars
when the little things mean a lot
friends are gone in the blink of an eye
when the little things mean a lot
breaking down comes easily and quickly
when the little things mean a lot

Fantastic!

Matthew Gray Gubler/Dr Reid IN MY LIBRARY :)

another insane doctor who fan exists somewhere on campus, and I love them

This is the sort of thing that makes me instantly happy and pretty excited
that is because, for much of my life
I have lived in fantasy worlds
there have been a number of them, originating in the minds of various authors and later television writers
translated and transformed into a safer place for my mind to travel to
when things got complicated
or friends left
I'm not saying that I told everyone my name was Rose or ran into wardrobes hoping there was somewhere else hidden behind the coats
just that sometimes, reality looks like the less viable option
the inferior world
of course, critically this is absurd because of the incredible amount of destruction found in shows(in Dr. Who and Torchwood, remarkably all in Britain ^^)
I'm just saying
that this flyer made me happy
a sense of community with someone I don't know at all
an instant and transcendent connection
frivolous, but enough 

Far too

When they say that I am like you
I think no way
I am far too special
far too unique
far too different
to even speak
of similarities

When they say that i am like you
You think no way
I am far too special
far too unique
far too different
to even think
of similarities

Need

I hate fundraising
right now I am fundraising for an organization called Unite For Sight
and I hate it, not the organization
but the need
the money
I hate money
and I hate need
when I need people
it makes me feel
terrible
anxious
uneasy
angry
because I always feel
like they will let me down
purposely put me down
and the more I give
of myself
the worse I know they can make me feel
when they leave
when they turn
which I know is not
an inevitability
but it feels as certain as death
at least in the beginning
at first
and then every once in a while
after that

Anonymity and Lack Thereof

I have a thing
for being anonymous
probably because otherwise, people know things about me
which is unnacceptable
apparently
anything that keeps me a secret
is ok
AIM, Cokemusic, runescape, secretive facebook applications, fake email addresses
that was how I liked to talk to people
where they did not know me, could not see me
even people who in real life I did know
unfortunately that is absurd
 but this is real, not in a physical, vocal way
but in a permanent, identifier-ridden kind of way
and that
is a breath of fresh air