The problem with vampires

today I was thinking about kidneys
yup, bio
and then about vampires
be very afraid of that train of thought
the problem with vampires is digestion
I mean, how do they digest blood?
this is not even really a hypothetical question
because of vampire bats
but I tried to think of
the best way
to digest blood
like, would a giant kidney work in the place of a gastrointestinal tract?
just filtering out the forign blood and integrating it into their syestem
this seems unlikley
do they just digest it like we digest food?
fortunateley
I know the answer
tank you, vampire bats

yes you

It turns out that it is very difficult to make a living
drinking blood
vampire bats can drink about half of their body mass in blood
they then almost immediately urinate most of the blood plasma
but still have trouble taking off with the sheer extra mass of blood cells

this system would possibly prove a tad embarrassing for most fabled vampires
problems added because vampire bats have to feed basically every night to keep from starving

ok then, it is unlikely that vampires, being human-sized and not? flying all that much, would have the same problems
but still one has to wonder how they are metabolizing this blood, full of foreign antibodies and DNA

know what? vampires do not make any sense
they suck >.>
but really, it is a terrible idea
do they breathe? apparently "Edward" does not, but does not feed nearly often enough to maintain blood oxygen levels
where do they get off?