An Anniversary

I do regret to inform you
that I must be cryptic
on this, the anniversary of the day
so many years ago
is it the day? I confess my memory has swallowed
the exact date, the time that it all came undone
and I do admit
that time has not rebounded
the tearing on my heart
that began then
the slicing of my spirit
to ribbons
tied now into bows
respectable, contained
moving forward, you say
you all say
but i find it hard to
believe
when that has always been a mistake
to be paid